Preparing for the loss of a loved one.

[grenfell]

As said i don't think there's any real way to prepare for it even though we know full well it's inevitable.
I never knew my paternal grandmother and my grandfather died when i was only about 6or 7 which at that age dosen't seem to affect as much. On the other side of the family i only knew my maternal grandmother who died in my late teens. Families being what they are i wasn't that close and her death didn't affect me that much. In january 2011 i lost my father . He had been having a few problems for about a year and finally had several heart attacks. Two weeks later my mother died. She had been in ill health for some time and part of me felt that she had just given up. My daughter was around the same age as me when my grandfather died so probably missed the worst . I was obviously upset and little things could make me emotional , for example the group Within Temptation have a song called Lost which seemed to talk about my mother. But overall there was a feeling of relief to a degree. Relief that they wouldn't be suffering any longer , relief that i wouldn't have to watch them deteriorate into a shadow of the people who brought me up and perhaps a kind of relief that they were "reunited" .

[Jillybean]

Hi,
Thank you all for sharing and your kind words. I have been on McMillan lots to try to understand aspects more. We have now been talking openly, my youngest and I watched my mums favourite film, we have also ordered ice cream to go to theirs and ours: We are going to have an ice cream zoom tasting.
The cancer seems to be growing rapidly, they also found some in her brain. Last I heard it was 6-9 months, but that was before finding it in her brain. She's been back in hospital and back home now, but this is her last chapter.
I have been writing her a letter, just so she knows what she means to me. Still in complete shock, before January she just thought it was her getting older, the struggles of lockdown.

[pseudonym]

My thoughts are with you and yours.

[Arzosah]

Jillybean, it sounds like you're coping with an awful situation really well. I'm sorry to hear about the discovery of a further tumour site. I too would wonder about the timeline in light of that discovery.

I'm wondering about travelling to see her? During Lockdown 2, my sister twice needed dental treatment under complete sedation, and she was required to have someone with her for 24 hours, i.e. that person had to stay with her in her house. That was me. We asked about the lockdown requirements, and the dental practice said that there was a medical exemption involved. This is the government guidance page: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/national-lo ... ay-at-home and about a third of the way down, there's a short paragraph on Compassionate Visits, which may eventually fit you, I'm sorry to say.

What you're doing right now sounds wonderful! Loving the idea of a zoom ice cream tasting, good for you.

[jansman]

I wish you all well Jillybean.