Prepping when ill or infirm

[Arzosah]

Sorry to hear about your mother, jansman. It sounds like the research has been done, and its all taken care of - the less stress the better at a time like that.

When my mum died, some of the most stressful days really stand out. All three of us were Executors, and her will was lodged with her solicitor. They wouldn't release it unless all three of us were there at the same time, and with photo ID. My only photo ID at the time was my passport, which was 300 miles away Luckily, my sister needed to go back down south and could enter my house and collect my passport. All the solicitor needed to have done was photocopy an A4 piece of paper telling us about their ID regulations. Needless to say, we never used them again.

And all three of us were executors because we thought it would give *less* stress. It didn't! My brother looked after the house and renovated it ready to sell, though it was pretty spiffy anyway. I did the finances. My sister is very practical and knew to do all those "little" jobs that take forever. And some of the specialist services that the building societies have set up are nightmares, much worse than ordinary departments, or that's what we found anyway.

[Yorkshire Andy]

my elderly mother passed away.

Sorry for your loss mate hope you and yours are all ok as can be expected

[ForgeCorvus]

Also we have bang up to date wills. Most important. What’s more,if you are trade union members as we are,they are free!

My late boss knew he was terminal, had four or five months to cross the T's and dot the I's (most of his affairs were in order anyway, he was that kind of bloke) and it still took over 18 months to settle everything....... It was 6 months before the lawyers unlocked the company money and the Heir was paying us out of his own pocket!. Mind you the Executor dying in the first few months didn't help.

So, have a slush-fund available to your Executor so they don't have to either pay bills out of their money or wind up debts against your estate due to late payments.

And pick an alternative Executor or have a couple (that last can lead to issues with stuff not getting done or being done twice..... I know of a Funeral Director being paid twice and having problems refunding the Estate due to time elapsed)

[GillyBee]

When my Dad knew he was terminal he put together a large file for my Mum which covered every bit of household admin he could think of. Not just the insurance & will information but everything for all household bills, car & general household maintenance.
Not quite in Jansman's training video class but very useful none the less.

I have a different question for those facing life with a family member (or self) with a serious life limiting disease whether terminal or not. How do you keep yourself together mentally when there is no "getting better"? What helps and makes life worth getting out of bed for, especially if you know that the day is going to be painful/undignified/unproductive? How can your family help best?

[GeeGee]

When my Dad knew he was terminal he put together a large file for my Mum which covered every bit of household admin he could think of. Not just the insurance & will information but everything for all household bills, car & general household maintenance.
Not quite in Jansman's training video class but very useful none the less.

I have a different question for those facing life with a family member (or self) with a serious life limiting disease whether terminal or not. How do you keep yourself together mentally when there is no "getting better"? What helps and makes life worth getting out of bed for, especially if you know that the day is going to be painful/undignified/unproductive? How can your family help best?

Its not easy GillyBee you concentrate on a day at a time and there are a hell of a lot of bad days ..but you enjoy the good
Your perspective changes too you look at life differently its easy to get bitter at the person moaning their brand new expensive car has a light flashing but then realise that life goes on for everyone else and its a problem they have which in normal circumstances would bother you
Its true a lot of people avoid you they don't know what to say and the ones who say ..think positive .I want to strangle them even though they mean well dont know what to say or do ..I've told a few we have buried more people with a positive attitude than we can count ..its almost as if you're being told well you were negative so you're going to die
The ..it could be worse .is another ..how hes dying for goodness sake
The nice gestures are the ones who say this is awful anything we can do to help ? It actually addresses the problem and acknowledges it ...
Other half is just like Jansman ..nothing I can do time is borrowed now so get on with it
As we are living in the shed and one bedroom now you'd think that we'd be on our knees
We laughed like hell in the shed last night..as hes still here and we still have a shed
You kind of get a strange sense of humour ..quite dark really ..but funny to those... in the club ...
If you know someone terminal just keep the normality its the best thing ever ..sympathy and tears wont change it but the hello how are we today does ...
Strange thing death..happens to us all but a lot really don't want to talk about it

[diamond lil]

It happens to us all - yes that's it in a nutshell. And we just have to get on with it, because the fairies aren't going to come in the night and wave a wee pink wand and fix everything.
GeeGee I think the shed should be renamed for the duration - the "garden room" or "the annex".... do have some class darling, one doesn't sit in a shed and eat one's smoked salmon dont you know.

[GeeGee]

It happens to us all - yes that's it in a nutshell. And we just have to get on with it, because the fairies aren't going to come in the night and wave a wee pink wand and fix everything.
GeeGee I think the shed should be renamed for the duration - the "garden room" or "the annex".... do have some class darling, one doesn't sit in a shed and eat one's smoked salmon dont you know.

beans on toast from my camping stove in my ..summer house...

[diamond lil]

[GillyBee]

Thanks everyone. It is good to know I can come and talk when I need to. There seem to be quite a few of us on here facing our own versions of SHTF from age or infirmity and we need to look out for each other.

Although Mr GB isnt officially "terminal" he is in a situation where the only future is steadily increasing amounts of pain and disability and a shortened life expectancy as it all takes it's toll. A "flare" combined with New Year reminded him of how uncertain his future is, hence my query.

GeeGee We need a UK preppers forum competition for the name of your new abode. After all it is no longer just any shed. It is a full blown bug-in refuge and needs a name to match. I vote for "The TARDIS" as if it isn't bigger on the inside than out, I am quite sure it needs to be...

[ForgeCorvus]

GeeGee We need a UK preppers forum competition for the name of your new abode. After all it is no longer just any shed. It is a full blown bug-in refuge and needs a name to match. I vote for "The TARDIS" as if it isn't bigger on the inside than out, I am quite sure it needs to be...

"The Chalet "